What does that even mean?

By: Cairoscene team

We "literally" "can't even" with these verbal trends. "Sorry, we're not sorry."

1. Don't Judge Me

This has probably been the most repeated line amongst pre-pubescent teens (and some overly-scandalous adults) when trying to justify their nightly debaucheries. But let’s take a second to consider what this statement even means, and exactly how infused with BS it really is. We pass judgements every second of every day. A good looking male or female walks into a club and we determine whether they tickle our fancy. A boy with a burnt face walks passed us in the street and we have instinctually winced at what is out of line with “convention.” When our parents ground us, we judge them. When our lovers leave us, they are bad people. In fact, when we ask that hilariously irrelevant question “where are you from?” we establish a judgment according to whatever answer we receive. Bottom line, spare us the line. If you don’t judge people, you don’t have a personality; and if you don’t have a personality, you’re really not justified in making normative statements. 

2. #sorryimnotsorry

We recognise it’s an internet trend, but for God's sake it really makes you wonder how people passed their SATS. Not to be the language police, but have you ever heard of something called “redundancy?” If you are not sorry, why can’t you just say #imnotsorry, or better yet, don’t say anything. If you really want to be ballsy, try considering the parallel reality where maybe, just MAYBE, people can judge (oh yes, we used the “J” word) for themselves whether or not you’re sorry. Oh and lastly, technically, “I am sorry I am not sorry” kind of cancels itself out… so indeed, what the hell does that even mean?

3. I can't even.

It’s a simmering summer’s day. –I can’t even.

The milk is expired! –I can’t even.

My work load is piling up! –I can’t even.

I’ve developed a zit! –I can’t even.

Lindsay’s in rehab again! –I can’t even.

It’s pretty self explanatory… you can’t even what?! What can’t you do? Unless someone is holding a jackhammer over your head, FINISH THE SENTENCE!

4. No offense, but...

We’ve all heard the ominous line that starts with “no offense, but…” that is usually followed by some back handed criticism about you. The reality is, you are fooling no one with such a lame attempt to frame the critique in a “non-offensive” manner. Stop kidding yourself, you’re definitely meaning to offend, and what’s worse, you know that what you’re about to say is in fact offensive. After all, why else would you begin the sentence that way?

5. Literally...

This term has been overused in the wrong context so many times, that we don’t even clock on to how the sentence “LITERALLY” translates in terms of meaning. Consider the following:

“I literally can’t stand it anymore!” (Unless you fell down on the floor and started having an epileptic fit as a result of whatever it was that upset you, you aren’t allowed to say something like this.)

So let’s just put it out there once and for all, “literally”, when placed before any sort of statement, means that what you’re about to say ACTUALLY happened; not in metaphor, not in manner of speech, but FOR REAL. So be sure to ask yourself before using the term; what does that even mean?

From burnt out to blissfully balanced in 7 easy steps

By: Kelly Lynn Adams

Whether your are focusing on your career, starting a family, building a business or simply just living your life day to day we can all experience burnout. The demands that we put on ourselves (and the demands of others) along with our fast paced, technology driven world can cause anyone to burnout quickly

“Women can have it all, but not all at the same time. Our life comes in segments, and we have to understand that we can have it all if we’re not trying to do it all at once.” Madeleine Albright

We can have it all, but not if we are trying to do it all at once – and especially not if you want to feel peaceful, stress free and in the flow.

Put these 7 steps into action, though, and you’ll go from burnout to blissfully balanced in no time!

1. Identify Your Top 3 Values. What do you value the most? Freedom, Creativity, Money, Time with Family & Friends, A Successful Business & Lifestyle? Identify and list out your top 3 values. This exercise will help you to decide what tasks you will need to spend more or less time on according to what you value in life.

2. Prioritize. Just the thought of trying to do it all is exhausting. The most important exercise we can do is to prioritize what we want to get done. First, take out a piece of paper and list out EVERYTHING that you want to get done in the next day, week or even in the next couple of months. Secondly, take a look at your top 3 values and start to prioritize what you want to get done according to what you value. This list should only contain 1-5 items at a time, any more than 5 items is just a really unrealistic to-do list that causes unnecessary stress. Finally, get to work on those items.

3. The Fiercely Focused Game. Whenever I need to get something done quick, I play a little game with myself. (Warning: this may cause you to be fiercely focused). I start off the game by picking one “thing” I want to get done. I think of a realistic time frame of when I would like to get this task done by. Then I start the task and see if I can get that task done quicker than my originally estimated end time. If I do get the task done quicker than my original estimated end time, I reward myself and celebrate!

4. Tune Out All Distractions. Shut off all technology. Stay off social media. Find a place where you will not be disturbed. Eliminate all distractions even if that means going somewhere quite or someplace that inspires you. This is extremely important.

5. Get Enough Rest. The most important self-care act that we can do is to listen to our bodies and not push ourselves. Burnout is mostly caused by ignoring our bodies, not eating the right foods, not moving our bodies and not getting enough sleep. The average person needs between 7-10 hours of sleep. When you sleep your body repairs itself. I challenge you to get an extra 1-2 hours of sleep each night and notice how you feel.

6. Have Fun & Experience Pleasure. At least once a day. Life is too short for all work and no play. Slowing down and taking the time to have fun and experience pleasure is absolutely essential for a successful lifestyle.

7. Healthy Eating & Movement. Everything we put into our bodies affects our mood, energy levels and the way we feel. Incorporating healthier eating habits and foods along with moving our bodies will help to increase our immune systems. When we have a healthier immune system it is more difficult to experience burnout. This week try eating a little bit healthier and moving your body and notice how you feel.

Even if You’re Materialistic, Money May Not Buy You Happiness

People say "money can't buy you happiness," but if you spend it on life experiences instead of material goods, it often can. However, a recent study suggests that for more materialistic folks, no purchase out there can truly please them.P

The study, conducted at San Francisco State University, was aimed at material buyers and looked at two different types of purchase: material goods and experiences. The study found that those who tend to spend money on material items found no happiness in experiential purchases, because they didn't believe what they bought expressed their personality. That makes sense, as they prefer material goods, but the study found that the material buyers weren't happy with their material purchases either. The reason? They felt like others criticized them or looked down on their choice of picking an item over an experience. San Francisco State Professor of Psychology Ryan Howell explains:P

"I'm a baseball fan. If you tell me, 'Go spend money on a life experience,' and I buy tickets to a baseball game, that would be authentic to who I am, and it will probably make me happy. On the other hand, I'm not a big museum guy. If I bought tickets to an art museum, I would be spending money on a life experience that seems like it would be the right choice, but because it's not true to my personality, I'm not going to be any happier as a result."P

If money can buy you happiness, do it. It's ill-advised, though, to buy things to fit in with others. Howell recommends buying an experience that's directly in line with your personality. If you don't want to buy anything, buy your happiness by keeping your money.