By: Dr. Pam Spurr
MSN's relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr helps you boost your dating form
To have a great date and make sure she wants to come back for more you need to take charge completely, use lots of lines and joke the whole way through the evening, right? Scratch that - dating should be so much easier than what you expect it to be.
Hot Date Tip No. 1: Be decisive
Ask what sort of food she likes, etc, and then book somewhere reflecting her tastes. It's a fantastic compromise where she guides your choice and you make a decision - and that's attractive.
Ask what sort of food she likes, etc, and then book somewhere reflecting her tastes. It's a fantastic compromise where she guides your choice and you make a decision - and that's attractive.
Hot Date Tip No. 2: Spotlight on her
Turning the spotlight on her, by asking her questions about her life, gets the conversation flowing. Go by this rule - for every two or three questions you ask her throw in something about yourself. After a time you'll both find conversation flows naturally.
Turning the spotlight on her, by asking her questions about her life, gets the conversation flowing. Go by this rule - for every two or three questions you ask her throw in something about yourself. After a time you'll both find conversation flows naturally.
Hot Date Tip No. 3: Private and personal
Putting the spotlight on her isn't about asking personal and private questions. Think how you'd feel being asked about a very personal subject - she'll feel the same way despite many women loving deep and meaningful conversations. You can have 'deep and meaningful' without scarily intimate!
Putting the spotlight on her isn't about asking personal and private questions. Think how you'd feel being asked about a very personal subject - she'll feel the same way despite many women loving deep and meaningful conversations. You can have 'deep and meaningful' without scarily intimate!
Hot Date Tip No. 4: Don't be a joker
If you're not a natural comedian - and I'm talking very funny - don't keep cracking jokes all evening. It's exhausting laughing at an unfunny man! Sweet, interested and genuine will win the day over lots of cheap jokes.
If you're not a natural comedian - and I'm talking very funny - don't keep cracking jokes all evening. It's exhausting laughing at an unfunny man! Sweet, interested and genuine will win the day over lots of cheap jokes.
Hot Date Tip No. 5: Watch the self-deprecation
Yes, women love a man who can mock himself but it shouldn't be continual self-deprecation. Plant too many 'negatives' about yourself in her mind and it's extremely likely she'll go away with a negative opinion of you.
Yes, women love a man who can mock himself but it shouldn't be continual self-deprecation. Plant too many 'negatives' about yourself in her mind and it's extremely likely she'll go away with a negative opinion of you.
Hot Date Tip No. 6: Low-key flirting
A good flirt will be adored but when you can't tell the difference between flirtiness and sleaziness you're in trouble. She'll immediately judge you as someone not be taken seriously. So mind how much of your banter is about her looks [even if saying she's hot] etc.
A good flirt will be adored but when you can't tell the difference between flirtiness and sleaziness you're in trouble. She'll immediately judge you as someone not be taken seriously. So mind how much of your banter is about her looks [even if saying she's hot] etc.
Hot Date Tip No. 7: Insincerity is see-through
Many men buy into the myth that they've got pretend to be interested in, eg, her cat even if they're not cat lovers - not true! Of course you don't want to say you hate cats or her hobbies, etc, but you can keep those comments neutral. Enthuse about mutual interests you enjoy but don't fake the rest.
Many men buy into the myth that they've got pretend to be interested in, eg, her cat even if they're not cat lovers - not true! Of course you don't want to say you hate cats or her hobbies, etc, but you can keep those comments neutral. Enthuse about mutual interests you enjoy but don't fake the rest.
Hot Date Tip No. 8: 'Touch and go'
Let her take the lead on the majority of physical contact - like the natural way she might touch your forearm when she's making a point. Women feel far more secure around a man that isn't too tactile. Yes 'tactile' went out together is fantastic after a few dates when you've established mutual attraction.
Let her take the lead on the majority of physical contact - like the natural way she might touch your forearm when she's making a point. Women feel far more secure around a man that isn't too tactile. Yes 'tactile' went out together is fantastic after a few dates when you've established mutual attraction.
Hot Date Tip No. 9: Don't play games
You might want to pretend you're out on dates all the time and you've got a string of women after your hot body. But rather than be impressed she's going to take that one of two ways: either you're big-headed or you're a player - both of which are turnoffs. Even if it's true be discreet about it.
You might want to pretend you're out on dates all the time and you've got a string of women after your hot body. But rather than be impressed she's going to take that one of two ways: either you're big-headed or you're a player - both of which are turnoffs. Even if it's true be discreet about it.
Hot Date Tip No. 10: Cut the c**p
If you've had a good time let her know. Keep it simple - when saying goodnight! say it's been fun and you'd like to do it again. Ask if she'd prefer you to call her or does she want to call you. Women love knowing when it's been a success. And if it hasn't been, walk her to her, eg, bus stop and after minor chit-chat about the restaurant, etc, say a simple 'goodbye and take care'. It's not better to say you'll be in touch - if she liked you she'll be angst-ridden waiting to hear from you.
If you've had a good time let her know. Keep it simple - when saying goodnight! say it's been fun and you'd like to do it again. Ask if she'd prefer you to call her or does she want to call you. Women love knowing when it's been a success. And if it hasn't been, walk her to her, eg, bus stop and after minor chit-chat about the restaurant, etc, say a simple 'goodbye and take care'. It's not better to say you'll be in touch - if she liked you she'll be angst-ridden waiting to hear from you.
